I never try this pencil
to sketch any kind of portrays
decades had become totally idle
Tracing those curves and edges of pathways
But, I’m still afraid of what it might look like
In my dreams, I saw this beautiful and multicolored peacock
It gives me a stronger wing,
and greater hope to wander every colorful morning***—***


My own Thoughts:
I really love to draw, but I was really scared to try. After twenty years I finally let my pencil sketch a beautiful and colorful portray. I’m so happy Β that I finally did it.

15 thoughts on “Peacock

  1. What do you mean you were scared to try though you love to draw? And, you waited twenty years to try?

    Was someone–maybe a parent–preventing you from drawing?

    You did no drawing–not even a doodle–in twenty years while maintaining a love and ability to draw?

    I’ve never seen such a complex peacock, but that one is rather exquisite. I tend to prefer a more centered composition. You have the body centered and the tail veering off to the left. I might let the tail go even further and out of the frame just for some added effect. Or, I’d curl the tail up and around the bird as if it was a woman holding a fan. Just some ideas.


    • Hi writingbolt, thanks for taking time to comment in this post. I’m here to answer all your queries. First, about getting scared to draw I developed that feeling when I was in kindergarten when my drawing turned really bad and I wasn’t picked to represent the class for drawing and slogan competition for Nutrition Month. Since I was just a kid and lack of practice, I couldn’t draw a nice line, or circle etc. But I took that weakness seriously, I was wondering why I couldn’t draw just like my other classmates, or why I couldn’t draw just as great as my big brother. I never had a family to motivate me, or to tell me its just okay you will be great later just keep practicing. So even if I love to do it, the fear of not be able to draw great was holding me back. 😦 Well, I was just a kid.
      I had regrets though, how I wish I spent those years practicing and kept trying maybe after 20 years I’m a great artist.
      I started trying to draw again last year, when I was in the state of depression when I lost my parents. Writing and drawing became my new past times and my source of happiness.
      About, the drawing being complex. I just saw a drawing like that in the internet and I just modified it and made the shapes, styles and colors differ from the reference. Since it was my first time to draw again after so many years I decided to pick an image that was easy for me to copy as a beginner. hmmm… Maybe I’ll try to draw another one later, this time I’ll make the tail to go further and out of the frame, just like your idea . πŸ™‚ Many thanks.


      • Ah, your school had Nutrition Month art/poster contests, too. And, you started in kindergarten. That’s tough. I think my first poster for that month was drawn in 3rd grade.

        I had a similar experience with painting. I had no one show me the ropes–er, brush strokes–so I did my best and was unhappy with the results. I didn’t want to paint anymore because I expected to fail. [And, with my neat-freak parents always tossing what they felt wasn’t worth saving, I didn’t exactly have the support system to make improvement without risking some mess, namely paint anywhere other than the canvas/paper.] And, I have not gone through the effort to set up a painting station since.

        Your big brother should have taught you at least a little about drawing if he could. That’s how I got started. My older sis showed me how to draw balloons and Winnie the Pooh. My brother showed me how to draw spaceships. And, my dad showed me how to turn the craziest of lines and scribbles into doodles. From those few skills, I started picking up drawing books from the local library, comic and coloring books for examples to emulate. I would draw from the cartoons I watched and the few toys my family could afford. In my teens, I used video game manuals, namely Zelda and Mega Man, to inspire me. I still did not get as much practice as more talented classmates I would run into soon enough. But, I did what I could and kept imagining. I could say drawing has saved my life more than once.

        Me, too. I regret the lack of practice others say they get all their lives. I see artists of all ages on here, and many if not most have been practicing almost daily for years. I cannot remember the last time I felt able to draw every day. It just seems too demanding. Now, when I draw, it’s as if lightning strikes my noggin, urging me to create. Hence the pen name.

        If you lost your parents, who do you live with? [I am not sure how old you are or how independent you are.]

        I would imagine losing BOTH? parents (in some tragic accident or natural disaster?) would be devastating; and lucky you if you were able to recover with drawing.

        It’s amazing how one without practice can fare so well. I’d call that divine intervention. And, maybe practice isn’t key. Maybe the talent comes from our genes and the right moment.

        I would not call that peacock an easy/beginner image. No way.

        My pleasure. Thanks for talking with me. Anytime you feel like talking again, drop by my space. πŸ™‚


      • Hello again, thanks for writing back. About my big brother teaching me how to draw, unfortunately he already left the family house and moved to Manila for college, so he only left all his drawings. The next time we met again was when I was in college and he’s married and had children so I never had time for tutorial.
        I also noticed all the boys of my brother can draw so great so probably its a talent coming from our genes. hahaha
        About my parents, my mom died from cancer (2012), and my dad died at the age of 85 (2015) having so much complication in his lungs and lever.

        I started living alone and away from my family right after college when I started working. But I decided to quit my job to look after my Mom till the very end, three months later I came back to the city and get another job, but after two years I need to resign again and went back to my home town to take care of my Dad. I never had any regrets choosing them over career, and promotions.
        It’s also my pleasure talking to you.
        Maybe someday i’ll try painting too. Thanks a lot for writing back. It means a lot to me. Have a great day.


      • Well, in a way, an artist’s drawings could be seen as a form of tutorial. After all, I received much inspiration from studying the works of others, including comic books. [I just didn’t draw with the same quality or style as the images I saw.]

        Compilation of what in his lungs? And, I’m afraid to ask what type of big, bad C took your mother. Terrible news. Tragic. Painful.

        You were lucky you could just drop the job and take care of family that way. I don’t think I could do the same for any reason. [Not from choice but from a number of other factors that make me panic.]

        Stay in touch, if you can, if you don’t mind.


      • Yeah, I agree with you. By just studying some artist’s works you’ll be able to get some ideas but make sure we’ll stick to our own originality . πŸ™‚
        Sad to say my Mom, got breast cancer, she had it when she was already 70, so her body couldn’t take the chemo treatment. So she decided to stop the treatment and asked her children to take her to the island so she could have fresh air, and be at her house. It was a tough decision whether I had to leave my job in the city. I had to give up everything and I wasn’t sure if I could still find a great job if everything is over or how am I going to start over. But I couldn’t let my Mom alone in that battle. No one in the family was willing to leave the city because they got their jobs and families to look after, I’m the youngest child so I had no choice. I had to do the same thing for my Father. But this time it was even harder, those things (great things you left behind) no guarantee you can have them back or at least get one a lot better.
        Well, but that’s life. I’ll just keep trying.
        Thanks a lot.


      • I am inclined to be pessimistic about C treatments, including chemo. There’s so much talk about the various forms of C, lately, and the search fore a cure. I’m starting to think its something humans brought on themselves like a plague by messing with science, particularly genetics and nuclear power. And, the effects are just spreading through the population. It’s hard to imagine no more C in the world unless 1) this is just the scam/tabloid of the era, like polio, smallpox and AIDS, and it will magically drop out of the spotlight one day or 2) the world suddenly turns into Star Trek: The Next Generation, and people start waving flashing sticks over people to cure them…which is a lil scary to think about, despite how magical it looks.

        Part of me feels like, if we get deathly ill, it’s better to die naturally than try to jack ourselves up with pills and machines just to prolong life and be test subjects in what may or may not be more than life support or something worse.

        I think I would have panicked in your shoes. And, my hair probably would have turned white.


      • I just wish our world someday will have these four: 1) Medical Tricorders-just a small device that can scan people ifr they have cancer and cure it right away 2) Replicator – just to replicate any components and make it usable in other forms like food etc. 3)Holodeck – where people can just go and visit places, feeling its surface, smelling the water and sand even if you’re not actually there. 4) Transporter – it would be amazing if we could just transport from one place to another, no need for us to ride in a plane if we wanted to visit other parts of continents. Indeed a world like Star Trek Next Gen. Yeah its scary to think how magical the breakthrough of technology can be, if that happens probably it will take another thousand years I guess unless next generation wont be dumb then everything will be wiped out. If you watch the movie “Ideocracy”that’s more scary. If you notice in some futuristic movies made in 70’s they already have this huge Flat screen TV’s, then a Talking computer, you can talk to computer and respond to you. Imagine we have them now. Isn’t it amazing?
        I also wish people die naturally, and no more deathly ailments. Sometimes we got scammed of taking medicines for the benefits of drug manufacturer. It’s crazy to imagine that these people are the ones created viruses and flues to spread over and make billion dollars out of it. I wish Doctors are born to help and treat people, not just to sit in their ass give you an expensive consultation fee, or tell you to take these pills that have a side effect and then give you another pill to treat the side effect which will have another side effect and then you ended up taking more than 3 pills. It’s like they are not there to treat the problems but create another problems.
        In that moment, if you have a traumatic experience like that, you see in your own eyes their agony, you hear their screams everyday. You’re there but you can’t do anything. But you can’t just dwell in the past and feel that pains you have to endure it and move on. That’s what life on Earth. It’s about survival. I need to survive because I love to live. I still want to meet new people, visit new place, read more books, watch movies and write more poetry.
        Thanks for reminding me the Star Trek Next Gen, I’d love to watch that series again. :O


      • See, those Star Trek shows put this wishful thinking in people’s heads. And, humans will go out of their way to make it happen themselves. But, I think the key element missing in the equation is contact with lifeforms from other worlds. I suspect even that medical technology came about with some alien intervention. Humans alone would likely come up with a gizmo that could make it appear all is well but put out some harmful radiation no one noticed until it was too late.

        The holodeck is quite possible and conceivable in the near future. And, there are some forms of replicators in the works. Teleporting…I would not be comfortable with being “de-materialized” like that; and, if you’ve seen enough episodes, you see it’s not foolproof. I’ve heard talk of people trying to create the turbo tubes from the cartoon Futurama; that sounds just as insane and painful. So, I’d prefer a more self-sustained form of flight like a hover/jet pack that won’t set anything on fire or pollute bodies with radiation. Or, imagine meeting a race of aliens that can fly and bumming rides…like Uber flying taxis. πŸ˜›

        I think many movies that feature “futuristic technology” are teasing us with what’s already available just not for the average “consumer.” I suspect there are secret facilities that, for whatever reason, allow movie makers to use their technology in movies years if not decades before you see it available in stores.

        I think the people who give you the pills and treat you in the hospital beds are not in charge of their actions. I suspect, like retail chains, there is a hierarchy of decision-making, and some higher office is directing those we meet face-to-face to take certain actions. It’s kinda spooky. So, while we may question the actions of those we deal with, I think there’s more than meets the eye going on behind closed doors and in other buildings/cities.

        Yea, well all this survival talk makes me feel like we should just rip away all the illusions–like a Matrix movie–paint our faces with war paint and spend our days climbing heaps of waste with weapons strapped over our shoulders. Instead, we move about these deceptive faces and gleaming structures that advertise themselves as progress and the pinnacle of education and economy.

        Over here, we have all the Star Trek series airing regularly. So, I can see TNG any time I want…but I don’t enjoy it as much as I once did. πŸ™‚ Yet, if it’s an episode that features Troi or Dr. Crusher, I might make an exception. πŸ™‚


      • Hi, I strongly believed that there are other life forms existed in other planets- outside our galaxy since our universe is really vast and infinite. But it’s really scary when time comes that our planet will be able to contact them and we’ll be surprised by how advance they are or how different they are from human.
        I never watch Futurama so I didn’t know about that, but if that new technology will cause harm to our body and pollute our environment definitely I’m against to it.
        That Matrix movie is insane, sometimes I have thought about what if we are living like some chips in a computer world and recreated us and it has certain programs that limit our functions.
        Maybe that’s the essence of being part of this world, there are so many unsolved mysteries and unexplained things. πŸ˜€


      • I think the very reasons we are not communicating with other worlds are: 1) They may not be as advanced as we think; they could be as “dim” as we are or even quite similar, like other worlds of humans like us under slightly different conditions, like parallel worlds or dimensions. 2) They may be afraid of “contaminating” our world, even as messed up as it seems to be. They could be waiting for us to improve ourselves to a point they feel safe to join in. 3) We’re just one blip in a vast universe and haven’t been discovered yet, like the socially inept kid in school who gets passed by while the popular crowd makes all the noise.

        I also think, despite movie speculation, aliens would not be as hostile and eager to take over the world. Yet, if aliens were responsible for how life developed on this planet, if our origins are linked to another race on another world, then it is quite possible the “landlords” could return (like the ancient gods) to “clean house” and start again, possibly the way the dinosaurs were wiped away.


      • One more thing , it’s really impossible to reach these other intelligent being living in other solar systems in other galaxy.
        If ever we have a technology to travel faster than lightning, it will take 100 thousand light years to get there. yeah we are just a blip in a vast Universe
        there are still more out there that we don’t discover, even those aliens may not know there is a planet earth exist and living things live in it.
        If ever our Sun dies, or another asteroids hit our planets, there are tendency that human race will be wiped out just like what happened to dinosaurs.
        Imagined this impractically huge reptiles ruled the earth for million years, if ever they still live humans might never evolve.
        I wonder how its like to be living in a world with huge reptiles everywhere, there might be huge birds as big as bus flying around. Creepy
        Human Civilization as we know is only about 6,000 years old. We don’t know how long human race are going to rule the earth.
        Do you think time will come that robots and other artificial intelligent will rule the earth, after an epidemic, earthquake, tsunami and war.
        I’m afraid this will happen in the future, people are divided in political systems, religions and evil acts.
        Human became selfish to the point that instead of building and creating something for everybody’s welfare, they tend to create a problem to destroy whole humanity.

        If these things never change human race will be doomed.
        How I wish every nations will work together spend more money, and time on research and development for studying other possible planets close by possible to live in,
        or build a huge spaceship that can accommodate a new civilization as it travels to a safer place in case of emergency.
        Humans evolved to be intelligent in nature so we can think right
        of a better solution how to conserve human race and our planet.
        My point is we are not dinosaurs or other low class animals that will just stand there and do nothing, until we are being wiped out.
        Anyways, i just don’t like to think so much about negative things that are not yet to happen. I would rather picture out a beautiful world. Just Chill! Chill! LOL


      • I myself have no interest in this push for artificial intelligence or robots doing all of the work. Making robot workers is not much different than slavery. And, eventually, slaves start uprisings and revolt. So, any time anything appears to be a step toward a Terminator movie, I reject it.

        Yet, in the Star Trek shows, at least, Earth did manage to resolve its warring nature and make some measure of peace with alien worlds, creating an alliance. As did Earth in the Galaxy Rangers cartoon of the late 80s. So, that is possible, too.

        I think economy has been a big factor in human failing. Making everything come at a monetary price and having to print currency to regulate it versus consciously plotting a means of fairly sharing. It’s just hard for anyone to be such a leader and be responsible for so many people who may not agree on how to get along. Thus, walls, wars, economies, etc. are set in an effort to create some kind of order.

        Also, I suspect many humans would rather run wild with other species than worry about clothing, housing and feeding billions of their own kind. They just don’t know how to shift gears that way without causing a panic.

        Wait, you want more money spend on finding other worlds for people to occupy? Isn’t that the same problem that started on Earth not so long ago, when Pilgrims left England to wipe out the Native Americans and create the USA? That is my fear for other worlds if Earthlings go looking for new rocks to occupy before resolving the problems on this one.

        If there is such an emergency here that humans cause the destruction of the planet, then I guess we are doomed to pay for our crime rather than spread it to other worlds. After all, how can we assure those who leave the planet to live elsewhere won’t fall victim to the same faults?

        Then, let’s work on some ideas for making our present world a better place, hmm? Or, live with what we’ve got.


      • What happened long time ago is totally different. They did colonize other countries not for survival, it was all for personal gain, powers, more lands. Just like here in Philippines we were colonized by Spain for more than 300 years, native Filipinos were became slaves. The Idea of looking for another planet possible to live in case there will be a biggest catastrophe happens on Earth like, dying of our sun, another asteroids will hit the earth. Maybe there is a planet or another world in other dimension where empty no humanoids dwell there, that’s the only chance of the next generation to continue living. If not all human race will be saved at least there are some.
        But the idea of going to another planet just to escape from the problem that human created in this world is a different story, and I don’t agree with that either. We are responsible to fix our own mess and not bother to create another mess in different world.
        I also agree with you that we should work on some ideas to make this world a better place.
        But we never know what’s gonna happen in the next 500 years in the future, maybe that time Money isn’t important anymore, maybe everyone has equal sharing of everything. I’m imagining of a world where you can just get free food, ride any transportation, shop without paying. no more poverty, corruptions.
        Well, I don’t know if that’s going to happen. Because just like you said, No way these rich people will contribute their money to feed / cloth poor people. These the same people don’t like to share same power and wealth. If ever there something happened on earth in the future and they’re going to find a new place for sure only rich people and powerful people will be able to get into the ship. They’re going to build a new civilization from those kind. I don’t know what to feel about that.


      • If the sun dies, it won’t likely be for a long, long time, longer than the dinosaurs existed, which was millions of years, right? Knowing mankind, I am sure scientists would try to prevent this and cause some other disaster. This endless quest for immortality….it’s sickening and unnatural. Which is probably how stories of vampires arose.

        I figure if something cosmic takes out the Earth, we had it coming. If man takes out the Earth, I’m just furious with those fools who’d do such a thing…and I could not stop them.

        A “free” world…imagine that. If only humans could be so content and at peace with the other creatures of this world. As it stands, how do we make peace and remain omnivores? And, if we became herbivores, wouldn’t the competition for eating plants become impossible?

        I suspect the only way humanity will ever change its negative habits would be for some outside race to appear and prove such a life is possible, a breach of doubt/faith to show people there are worlds out there. Provided those visitors are not a threat nor assaulted by Earth. How many times must the world be torn down to teach man to change his ways?

        I keep thinking of the Linkin Park song that speaks of building it up just to break it back down and the changing of hands, turning one’s wealth over to another.


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